Fits like a Croc charm

(Pre-Script: This post will ergonomically adhere to your brain like sand on the seashore to a barefoot foot when paired with the song,"Mysterious Ways," #24 on the playlist, so go down to that song, click it on, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

Why do shoes that are designed to be comfortable have to look so ugly?

Blink.

Blink.

Blink.
Oh, what's this?? It appears that words have slipped my mind like sand through my fingers on the beach, but I am not comforted by such a slippage. I love the feeling of the sand slipping out between my fingers, walking barefoot in the sand, feeling it sink between my toes like form fitting ergonomically corrective shoes. Something like what Crocs are intended to be, but not so dorky looking on a grown up. And you can't affix a charm to the sand as you can to a Croc. It would just get lost and eventually buried, where a medal detector wielding beach comber will wave his detector over the very spot, hear his detector start to beep beep beep, which will encourage him to dig dig dig, and find the charm. Maybe he will have a young child at home who will appreciate the charm for his or her own pair of Crocs, or maybe the metal detecting general will decide to put the Croc charm in his own pair of Crocs, which he wears only around the house for the sake of their incredible comfort since the floor of his own house is not made of sand. He will place the charm in his very ugly comfortable shoes, now both tacky AND ugly, but he will wear it as a sort of inside joke between himself and his metal detector, thereby unleashing his inner 9 year old girl. Do not be alarmed; I am not insulting the dear man; every person has an inner 9 year old girl. One need only spend an afternoon with a 9 year old girl to realize that we all contain such a person inside of ourselves at all times, and she is always waiting for any excuse to be unleashed. Trust me.
Blink, Wink.
So the real question is WHO unleashed the inner 9 year old girl of the designated Croc shoe designers, who unleashed the inner 9 year old girl of the people approving of the shoe design before it went out to the stores? Everyone involved in the Croc shoe design must have been blinded by their inner 9 year old girls, and this explains the many hideous colors they come in.

-XOXO,

Caught up

(Pre-Script: To catch the most out of this post, please read it as the song, " Breathe," #55 on the palylist, plays in the background. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

My heart leapt up and caught the bate for which it had been yearning, for as long as said bate had been dangling before it. And then, oh, what was this?? my heart went sailing through the air, a fishy-bird, never felt so free and spontaneous. But then, oh, what was this?? that very same heart realized too late that it was attached to a hook and a big fat man was standing on the shore reeling it in, as my heart thrashed frantically to be free of what it now realized it was not free of. Oh big fat man, you do not want my fishy heart, you have obviously had enough of your fill, please let me go, already, undo the hook that will leave a scar, but at least my heart will be free for what it was meant for, to swim in the river, and water wish wash over the scar left behind, a hole or a gash where a hook was once lodged...
Ahem.
Blink
Blink
but sometimes the fat man may be just the thing you need to catch you in his net and swoop you out of the river in which you are quickly swimming downstream...it really just depends on who the fat man is and what the river is.
Ahem.
Blink
Blink
You know exactly what I am talking about. If you don't think you do, it's because you're just not looking at it. Here, fishy fishy...

-XOXO,

You, Accrue-d.

{Pre-Script: To fill the space in your brain to capacity, you will need to read this post as the song, " Gone," #50 on the playlist, plays in the background. Go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...)(...still waiting...)


When you move to inhabit a space, you do not diminish the space you are in. You accrue. Where you once looked around and thought "this space is HUGE! HOW am I ever going to fill it??" you now look and think,"Where did all this @*^&%#$% come from??" and other such groaning too deep for words.

This is one reason people have garage sales

I have been cleaning out the clutter in my house for the past two weeks. Out with the clutter, in in with the sanity. "OH, hello, sanity, I knew there was a semblance of you somewhere...I just couldn't quite access you...I see now that you were pinned down between a board game and a sweatshirt that no longer fits anyone in this house."

-XOXO,

Out of Body

(Pre-Script: To experience the miracles contained herein, you must first go down to the playlist, click on the song, "Suddenly I See," #36 on the playlist, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

I have not had an out of body experience in this lifetime, but I almost did. I mean, I think I almost did. It was right at the end of an elephantine pregnancy; elephantine in How I Perceived It's Length, and in How I Was Perceived By The Outside World.

Blink.

Blink.

So there I was, my body laboring to rid itself of the the large child it had been harboring all of these months, with some crazy midwife saying meaningless words to my face, words like, "You're fine." as I said words that made actual sense, like "I'm going to die!" What happened was something between what the midwife said and what I said. I have always thought that there is only room in a body for one person to live. Since there was a baby inhabiting mine, I figured I'd lead the way out. It was like I was there, but I was not all there. I was on the bed and somewhere up there on that wall over there, too. People were talking at me, but it was as though they were speaking through a fog next to which I hovered. I think it was my first act of leading by example in my mothering of this newest baby of mine, because shortly after this, she too came out of my body. She just needed to follow me.

Once she was out, I reentered my body and declared it a war torn zone which would need to be rebuilt over the course of time. It would always bear remembrances of those who had gone before, and come forth out of it. They always leave something of themselves behind, like when people carve their initials into the bark of a tree, only not so aesthetically pleasing. But that body over there of that little one who was now being measured and weighed, it was perfect, a miraculous construction,and one needs to take the importance of birthing a miracle into serious consideration. It is no small thing.
In this particular case, it was an 8 lb thing.
Once she was out, I crawled shakily back inside, built a fire, and hovered there.

Or, as David James Duncan puts it in the book "The River Why,"

"When I finally crept down it was dark...inside, I built a fire and huddled near the flames."
His book is, on the surface, about fishing, and my story is, on the surface, about birthing. Although now that I mention it, those two things are not entirely or even almost unrelated.

-XOXO,

Brick Table

There is a boy in the backyard making a table out of a pile of bricks he has found.

Through the kitchen window I can see him,

building with
what we did not realize we had left there.

The grownups tend to forget these things,

piles of bricks left on the side of a yard,

the remains of some forgotten construction project

or other.

but children often find what we never knew

we'd left behind,

and this is what they focus on,

and this is how they construct themselves.

These bricks look like the bricks of a house where I once lived,
and like the bricks of a wall I recognize.
Some of the bricks are broken, some whole,
but they are the bricks he has found,

so they are the bricks he works with.

his siblings are around him

like buzzing bees orbiting his space,

as siblings do,

but he remains focused, and they play at their own agendas.
In the backyard, a boy is building.
when the boy is finished, he will say,
"come and see the table that I made,"

then warn his sister not to knock it down.
-XOXO,

This beauty

(Pre-Script: The beauty of this poem will be most deeply understood if you read as the song, "Closer," #17 on the playlist, plays in the background, so scroll down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

This mess is the beauty
this beauty a mess-
a timeless obyss shaken down

by those who dare
to approach the ledge;
shaken, not stirred
by curious glances
from bright eyed explorers;
this mess is the beauty,
this beauty a mess-
though curiosity does not move islands
it still might hoist a sail
so we float from one to another
so we float
from one to each other
and discover our own continent
on the way to India.
This beauty is messy
this mess is the beauty

a raw unexplored terrain

for which you think you are ready

but no one is ever ready.

(This beauty is messy.

This mess is the beauty.)

-XOXO,

The heart of the matter

(Pre-script: To keep this post pumping, scroll down to the playlist, click on the song, "Ants Marching," #21 on the playlist, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting,while laughing, since laughter gets the heart pumping...)

"You will survive this, even if it kills you."

Now let's get back to the heart of the matter; the heart is a matter of muscular constitution, pumping the blood, pumping it up, like any good coach, "come on, blood you can do it, you have much territory to cover in a short period of time. those tippy toes are not going to get the circulation they need all on their lonesome, so get cracking. You can do it, and report back to me ASAP!!"

So it seems your heart is pumping for you, regardless of how you feel.

"You will survive this even if it kills you."

who was it that said this famous quote?

Oh yeah, that was just me, and I put it in quotes to make it look important, and to draw your eyes to it, so that you will at least read that part, even if the rest of these words just look like "Woh woh woh woh woh woh woh woh."

-XOXO,