Thursday, June 2, 2011

Pancake Batter

(Pre-Script: This post to be read as the song, "Lollipop," #20 on the playlist, plays in the background. Go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...)(...still waiting...)

So there I was, mixing raspberry chocolate chip pancake batter for all the children of the world. For all the children of the world who at one time or other resided inside my womb. And that feels like I'm making them for all the children of the entire world...


(Random Digression [or R.D.]: Pancakes are one of those things I used to eat, but no longer eat, because I do not have an off switch once I start eating them. It's better if I abstain all together. End Of Random Digression [or E.O.R.D.])

..and it occurred to me that I could make this a perfect food. I could add spinach I had just whipped up in my blender complete with a couple of fish oil pills which I had squirted the insides out of into the batter. I could add a little protein powder. I could then go into the backyard and tap my own maple syrup straight from the maple tree that grows there. But then I remember that I'm not nearly that organic. I'm not nearly that close to living in an upper New England town near a lake or pond which is a natural habitat of Canadian Geese, for example. I don't have a backyard which contains even one Maple tree. In fact, I don't even have a backyard. And besides, Trader Joe's already bottled the Maple syrup for me. Which is a lot less mess than me and a bucket, standing there in my frustration, trying to figure out how to get the golden nectar from the inside of the tree, where I KNEW it was freely oozing, to the outside of that tree. It is also a lot less time consuming.


(Random Digression [or R.D.]: Remember when I was a kid, and kids used to eat cookies and candy without worrying about their rising cholesterol levels? 'cause then we went outside and ran around shooting each other with our fingers because play shooting wasn't a criminal act, just a bunch of kids acting out good guy vs bad guy scenarios like in the westerns out parents would watch on tv in front of us without worrying that they were traumatizing us because the particular movie was "unrated?" And we also didn't eat chemicals and splenda and activia. But I am getting ahead of myself. End Of Random Digression [or E.O.R.D.])



In the end, I didn't put any of that healthy stuff into the pancake batter. But I did create delicious chocolate chip raspberry pancakes, which turned the normal children I'd birthed into the happy, delightfully energetic normal children I'd birthed.

So there goes the neighborhood, and so on and so forth.


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