When The Rubber Meets The Road

When the rubber meets the road
and you're standing on the sidelines
watching me watching
the broken line of road
you do not need to say
you do not need to look
you do not need to point
you do not need my reassurance
that you will endure
my broken fan belt,
dead battery,
or blown gasket.
When the rubber meets the road
just remember that you went to Dental school,
or the school of Cosmetology, or
you took a few General Ed. classes
before dropping out altogether,
you did not go to the school of auto mechanics
any more than I did so
don't pretend you did
don't pretend you did
don't pretend you did
even if you read a manual once that told you
how to change a flat tire.

-11/27/08

-XOXO,

Glamorous Weaklings

Glamorous weaklings,

how often we ache

how deeply we yearn

as the earth spins around

the sun once

for every day we've

marched through;

brave soldiers we are

on ground that is foreign

the land mines not clear

the steps must be ginger

but brave and deliberate

left right left

how easily we fall

so beautiful, so tender,

as stoic as statues,

yet fragile as dust.

11/24/08

The last picture

Last night, after dinner and dessert with friends, Derek stopped an innocent passerby on the street and asked him to take our picture. It would have been a great idea, if this particular person didn't need to be wearing a warning sign around his neck. The guy took a picture of us, alright, but I think he was confused and thought that we actually asked him to take a picture of the sky. And then, when he was handing the camera back, he dropped it, it fell to the ground, and proceeded to break. Y'all, I'm not even going to show you the picture. Just imagine the sky, at night, so it's black, and then at the bottom of the picture, 4 little heads. That would be us. The end.

-XOXO,

what I did today

Today I did all the things I always do:

spun around the sun 1x

pushed something too far

let something go

missed the point

wrestled out some kinks

ironed in some new ones

exposed a flaw

discovered gold

marked a page

logged in data

forgot

remembered

loved
hated

validated

fullfilled

neglected

let go and held on tight...

Today, I was the same person I always am:

a very brave coward

weak

strong

wisely stupid

immaturely mature for my age

profoundly simple

deeply shallow

gently harsh

clumsily graceful

disciplined

undisciplined

saying too much (which is never

enough)

-XOXO,

Two boys

Two brothers

stand in front of the ocean

sometimes warm, sometimes cold

sometimes laughing, quiet, or yelling

dry, wet

(just remember that

it's always more complicated

than the surface of the thing

which can appear as smooth as glass

but can swell, reach out

and knock you down

or swallow you

then spit you out

when you are not looking

or running fast enough

just remember that it's deeper darker and

surprisingly full of unseen beauty and life

and you stand

in front of it,

together)

-11/18/08

-XOXO,

Some days, the beach

(Pre-script: To get the most out of this post, possibly including, but not limited to, an incredible urge to shout "LUCKY!,"* go down to the playlist, click on the song "Heavenly Day," and then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

I spent just about every Sunday of summer '08 on the beach. I never get tired of looking at the ocean, and can't think of a better place to take a child. The weather is very unpredictable, though; it can be hot and sunny in San Jose, and at the same time along the coast it can be overcast, chilly, with a breeze that bites you, directly through whatever layers you may happen to be wearing. And it hurts... Like you are being bitten with actual teeth...cold, frozen teeth at that. So imagine the joy and delight of my heart when the weather forecast for a Sunday in the middle of November was 80 degrees with little to no wind. And imagine my joy and delight when I got to the beach and the forecast was correct. Now let's all take a moment to reflect on that...a warm, sunny, NON WINDY(most important) beach day in the middle of November!!!!

Y'all, it was fantastic.

-XOXO,

P.S. ...and don't forget the sea glass, honey...

*Napoleon Dynamite

"My just wookin' for hum gum"

(Pre-script: To get the most out of this post, first go down to the playlist, click on the song: " 32 Flavors," then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

This afternoon, baby girl was looking in my purse, and when she saw me seeing her, she said "My just wookin' for hum gum."

which properly translates to

"I'm just lookin' for some gum."

Um, no.

-XOXO,