9 years

(Pre-script: This song is best paired with the song: "Unwritten" by Natasha Beddingfield. Go down to the playlist, click on it, then come back and read the post. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

When my first baby was born, I remember thinking "I just had a baby, and there she is." It was very matter of fact and also extremely surreal. It was like I was watching the movie that I was starring in. Then they handed her little bundled up self to me, and I looked at that tiny perfect face, and the feeling of that tiny baby in my arms felt like the most perfect feeling in the world. I couldn't imagine ever putting her down or ever looking at anything else again. And then as she breathed, she would occasionally make a humming noise, and that was the end of life as I had ever known it.
I was also struck with the realization that I had never been so vulnerable in my life before; that from here on out, for the rest of my life, if anything happened to this tiny little package in my arms, I would be ruined. I could have never prepared for that, was not ready for that, and yet it came on so strong, full force, instantaneous. Amazing how the birth of a baby causes the universe to flip completely over and around and through you...

...And then, the rest of your life.

-XOXO,