Thursday, July 7, 2011

I require my people to smell good-A Manifesto, of sorts

(Pre-Script: This post should be read as the song, "Blackbird," #30 on the playlist, plays in the background. Go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...)(...still waiting...)

One of the things I appreciate about being a personal stylist is that where I work, the men dress up. They wear suits and ties and nicely polished shoes.

Think about that for a minute.

I'll wait.

Here's a tip, and I'm not even going to charge you for it: There's no such thing as "too dressed up." If anything, you can probably stand to dress up more. Look down at your outfit.

See what I mean?

I don't ever waste energy feeling anxious or embarrassed about being the most "fancy" person in a room. If anything, I'm not really thinking about it. Because when you are put together first thing in the morning, you are done, and you can just go about your day confidently, not worried about how you look. Because you already know that you took the time to be "done" before you left the house. Right??? Not in this society. I am by no means anti Ugg boot and other such knock offs. But I feel that Ugg boots symbolize a lot of what our society has lost, which is that we no longer strive. We laid down our weapons a long time ago, on the battlefield of comfort. We surrendered the white flag, then pulled that white flag down and wrapped it around ourselves and fell asleep. And then we woke up and drove to Safeway or Starbucks without ever changing out of the same ratty sweatpants we had fallen asleep in the night before.

I would like to interrupt myself here and plead with you, gentle reader: whatever you fell asleep wearing the night before should never, ever be worn out in a public setting. Never. Ever. Because I don't care how clean you were when you fell asleep, what you wore to bed the night before smells like dead skin cells the next morning. It's one of those mysterious scientifically unproven facts of life.

I have this saying...I say that I require my people to smell good. By "My people," I mean anyone who is in my near vicinity. In other words, wear antipersperant deodorant, wear body cream or body spray or fancy cologne or perfume. Brush your teeth regularly and vigorously. In other words, make the effort and be diligent about it. It's good for the gingivitus protection, it's good for the gums, it's good for the bloodstream, and it's a common courtesy to your fellow human.

Years ago, and still in many places around the world, people used to have to work for what they had, so they worked hard, and then they had babies who were born to the people who had worked hard for what they had, but since the babies never had to work for what they had, they developed a sense of "we deserve to have everything we never worked for handed to us on a platter. Wah wah wah. Change my diaper."

But the point isn't to look around and say "Ok, I have enough, I can stop striving now; my parents already did that. I'm already smart, and I know that because I was put in self confidence class when I was 2 years old." (gag me)

I don't care if you started out life in a grass hut with no shoes, or if you were born to a fortune, if you have a photographic memory or have to read the same line over and over and still can't remember what you just read. Your job is to build up from what you have been given. To whom much has been given, much is expected. In other words, the MORE you have, the MORE you should be working hard to build upon it. NOT just take your wealth for granted. I am not talking only about financial wealth, I am also talking about natural talents, abilities, and intelligence. Don't just sit smugly on the fact that you can do such and such a thing with little or no effort. Do the thing to the effort that it hurts you, and keep doing it at that level in order to build endurance, balance, and muscle tone. And I do not only mean physical muscles, although believe that those are one of the things a person needs to develop, as well.

*Important note: When working hard, you will know you are working hard because you will be sweating hard. This will cause you to temporarily not smell good. But it's necessary, and the point is to not lounge around all day long in your sweaty work out clothes. I'm assuming you are intelligent enough to catch my drift here...and today, my drift smells like cocoa butter and Philosophy's "Amazing Grace" perfume.

You see, what happens when someone works hard for something is that it builds in the person a sense of self, a confidence and renewed vigor; it causes the person to keep awake and living, as opposed to just sleep walking through life. Sleep walking is easier, and that is why so many people wear Ugg boots to go about their entire day. I am not Ugg boot opposed, but I think they should be worn as slippers around the house and before going to bed. Not to the grocery store. Not to the *(fill in the blank anyplace you can think of that is most definitely a public place)* And when you don't develop that sense of industry in yourself, you lack the confidence to put forth the effort to take care of yourself and make yourself look presentable, because you don't realize that you are worth the effort. But if your children are worth the $40.00 hair bow and light up sparkly shoes, then why the heck is their mother slumping around town in sweat pants? If that is the image you present to your children, then that is what you are grooming them to ultimately become. Think about it, people. Now go change your pants.


P.S. Just today, I told my 6 year old son, "Ethan, You have a great capacity for learning, so never stop learning; you can never learn too much." He said "Okay," and skipped off. A few minutes later, my 9 year old son walked into the room and I said "Jeremy, I love you with all my heart. You have a great capacity for learning, so never stop learning; you can never learn too much." He said "How are those thoughts related to each other?"

1 comment:

Johnny R said...

I agree 100% what happened to the days when women wore dresses all day and men wore suits to ball games? Hmmm??