Rocks

(Pre-Script: This post best recieved as the song," Mysterious Ways," #4 on the playlist, plays in the background. Go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...)(...still waiting...)

This year for Christmas, I was thinking of giving everyone a rock from my rock collection with a note explaining why this particular rock reminds of me this particular friend. Like "This rock is perfectly round and smooth, fits just right in my hand, just like you in my life." or "This rock is bright and sparkles in the sun; it reminds me of you." I would be thrilled if someone gave me a gift like that; most of my friends will not appreciate my rocks.

"You're so weird!"

I've heard that for years; I hear it often.

Hearing it doesn't make me act less weird, though.

So many people are trying to figure out who they are, or are afraid to let other people actually see who they are.

But I've been through crap; I know who I am.

I'm a girl with a rock collection.

I don't just pick up any rock I find; I have to like it, for some reason. A perfect, round rock with enough weight to it feels good in the palm of my hand. I like to hold on while I walk. Heart shaped rocks are always keepers. I like to think that God put them in front of me to send me a message. Sometimes I pass these on to other people when I know they are going through a hard time. I don't worry about what they think of me; I assume no one's ever given them rocks before, and I don't care if they think it's strange or unusual, because I know it is. But it's a reaching out, anyway, and it's the reaching that matters. People don't reach out enough.

I find most of my favorite rocks at the beach or in rivers.

I like to explore.

Today, I went to the beach with a friend. This friend was in a cranky mood, at least towards me.

Quote from nameless friend: "I am feeling irritable. You are not helping."

Me: "Well, I'm glad I know that I'm not responsible for your feelings, because I am in a great mood."

I said that even though I felt stung, and then I walked away, and then I didn't say anything and we split up to do our own solitary things.

Interestingly, this is one friend who can appreciate my rocks and where they came from. This friend will "ooh" and "aah" over interesting rocks with me, marvel at the significance of where a particular rock came from, say things like "I've never seen one like this before; look, it looks like the face of a whale when you hold it this way."

I will look and say "Yes, I can see that."

I was going to find a rock for this friend today while beach walking, but I also know that nameless friend is getting ready to go on a long journey far away, and does not need any extra rocks right now.

And I also know that this friend has told me in the past, "when you leave, you leave a lot behind," and also, "you are not always good at receiving."

to which I had said "Well, I received that."

and

"Thank you."

Or something.

I did not give this friend a rock today.

(but I did give one to my friend's sister, a perfectly white sparkly quartz, and she said "OH, thank you! I used to collect these, I thought they were so neat!" So you see, I'm not the only one.)

-XOXO,