They've been known to say some words

Pre-script: For this post, you have a choice of three songs: "Closer," by Jars of Clay, "Talk," by Coldplay, or "Stay For Awhile," by Amy Grant. pick one, go click on it, then come back to view this post. I'll wait... (...waiting...with the family in tow...Or should I say, "with the family in V.W. bus...")

Y'all are welcome to stop on by anytime...as long as you call ahead first and send the Merry Maids after you leave.*

Oh, I kid, I kid! We won't require any Merry Maids help until the next day, at least.* Besides, we are officially raising our own team of Merry Maids, right here in our house. Yeah, just give each of these kids a wet sponge, and they go gangbusters all over every surface 3 feet tall or shorter. They are sure to get the aforementioned surfaces halfway clean, and if not, then they will at least get the aforementioned surfaces wet. But I digress.

As I was saying, before I so rudely interrupted myself, please come and see us. When you are here, we will be sure to bounce you on our trampoline, feed you all the homemade cake you can stand, butcher Napoleon Dynomite quotes and Bon Jovi songs at the top of our lungs, all the while cracking ourselves up, and before you leave, we will inject your children with slap-happy juice,** so that they will be extra fun for you on your drive home and beyond.

Kidding folks, kidding again. Derek and I only use the slap happy juice** on our own children, and only before bedtime at the end of long, full days when we are terribly exhausted ourselves , so that they are sure to be too hyper and goofy to fall asleep for a very, very long time. But again, I digress...

Before you come over, you will need to purchase and study a very special thesaurus/dictionary if you want to understand our half of what is sure to be a thrilling and enlightening conversation. This is known as an "Our Family" thesaurus/dictionary,*** and it is made up of all of the words the 6 of us have adapted into our daily lives that are not typically spoken outside of our home. However since this particular book is still in the process of being published,*** you are in for a lucky treat. I'm about to give you a sneak peak of some of the words you will find therein. (One cannot be too prepared for an impromptu stop-by.)

1.)Opy-meal: Oatmeal.

2.)Frostache: What you get when eating your cupcake face-first.

3.)Pop-it: Stop it.

4.) Hop-hops: Flip-flops.

5.)Tuggle: Snuggling and Talking at the same time.

6.) Ho-dough: Soda. (As in when Natalie said "That Daddy's Ho-dough" as she pointed to the caffiene-free-but-not-diet can of Pepsi she saw on the counter last week...because she seemed to instinctively know that Mommy has no point of reference for even beginning to understand a drink like that.)

...but yet again, I digress.

(These words were all invented by our children. They are only a small smattering of the words that pepper our daily in house wordage. )

Peace and love to you and yours until we find you here,

-XOXO,

*The Merry Maids thing is just a joke, see, and our children could never be Merry Maids; they can't fit into the uniforms, and I refuse to let them drive one of those cars with cleaning supplies and vacuum cleaners in the trunk.

**Slap-Happy Juice is also just a joke...so it's nothing to lose your heads over.

***There is actually no such book in existance, even at the publisher's office. Dern.

Vanessa Christine, you look so good for 100! What's your secret?

I'd like to observe a moment of silence as we recognize this, the 100th post (!) on Vanessa Christine.

-insert silent moment here-

Now that we got that out of the way, I'd like to give a shout out to this here blog.

-insert boisterous shout out here-

(...and there was much rejoicing...)

Who knew that after less than 2 months of blogging, I would have already published 100 posts? Some of the comments I have heard have been :

1.)"You're blog is so...random."

2.)"Three posts in one day?!? Pace yourself, girl!"

3.) I laughed out loud reading your blog."

To which I say:

1.) The posts are not random to me...they are a mere sampling of what I am thinking and finding artful in the moment. Refrigerator.

2.) I ALWAYS pace myself, and I blog...at my own pace. Sometimes there are 3 posts that need to be written in one day.(Sometimes more, but there are only so many hours in a day...sheesh, peeps!)

3.) If you are reading and laughing out loud, then you get it...because I laugh out loud when I write it.

And now a word about all those words...

I have always been a lover of words.*

I love the way they sound. I love the way they look on paper. I love the way they feel as I am saying them. I love it when I hear a word combination that suddenly tickles my ear. I will often repeat a phrase just because I like the way it sounds and I want to remember it for possible personal use. I was even called out in class for this once. The teacher stopped her fabulous lecture to say :"Michelle, you have a tendency to repeat things that other people say,** and it's really annoying." I would love to tell you that this confrontation happened in the 2nd grade, but 2nd graders don't generally take Government and Economics class. The reprimand actually happened when I was in the 12th grade, A.K.A. a Senior in High School. (Now that I think about it, this could have been one of the reasons I was never popular.) Until this call-out, I really had no idea I was copying people; it was an unconscious act of admiration and committing certain phrases to memory.

Sometimes when I write, I copy a rhythm of writing. One of my favorite poets is Robert Frost. I have often copied his rhythm of poetic speech. It's not plagerism, peeps, it's the way the words bump when you say or read them that I appreciate about him... so I had to adapt it for myself.

Really, the words I blog are written just the way they sound in my head. For example, I have never been from the South, but I say "Y'all," and "All y'all" very often on my blog, because it just feels right.

Other Random Secrets About My Particular Brand of Blogging

I blog with passion and hilarity. One of my favorite things to employ on this bad boy is the *asteric*. I am all over the *asteric*. I enjoy it immensly. Recently, I also started adding the "-XOXO," before my signature at the end of MOST posts. This is also quite enjoyable to me. I am also playing around with color. Why? Because sometimes certain words just need to be written in certain colors. That's why.***

Sometimes I even tell you what song to listen to while reading a particular post. Do you, the reader, actually DO it? I have no idea. But at least you suddenly have the song in your head, and at least you know I was DELIBERATE in my blogging, and thinking of it as an entire artistic EXPERIENCE, not just a thing to look at.

OH! That reminds me! I forgot to prescribe a song for this post. Here it is..."Not Your Average Girl," by India.Arie. Click on the song, then come back...When it's over if you need a new song, click on "100 years" by Five for Fighting...Then come back...I'll wait...

(...waiting...)

(What a hoot, I love that trick, too.)

"BUT MAD BLOGGER!"-you cry, "WHY are you giving away all of your SECRETS! WHY are you telling us EVERYTHING?!? FOR YOU SHALL SURELY SPOIL US ALL!!!!"

To which I reply: "FOR SOOTHE, Dear READER! The Mad Blogger will NEVER give away all of her secrets! Never! and verily I promise thee, there is ALWAYS something new up her sleeve...heh heh...LEST YOU EVEN THINK OF GETTING COMFORTABLE, like you just KNOW what to expect...YOU NEVER CAN! So rest, my darlings, rest, my lovies, for tomorrow shall surely bring...a post that you least expect, and would never have anticipated. Wait for it, wait for it...,

-XOXO,

*Let it be known that I do not love ALL words...I only love CERTAIN words:...the ones that I love...

**I believe this is commonly referred to as "echolalia."

***These words brought to you by the color pink.It's my 100th post; these words needed to be written in pink. I know pink is not always easy to read unless you are an Elle Woods prodigy...I'm still on the waiting list...But it's my 100th post; so these words needed to be written in pink.