Monday, November 2, 2009

Easy Living

(Pre-Script: This post is likely to make everything in your life 22% better if you read it while the song,"Closer," #16 on the playlist, or "Closer," #31 on the playlist, plays in the background. Go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

Now, some of you are thinking, "I don't need no stinkin' people. I am happy with my ice cream, treadmill, direct TV, and decent Internet access." some of you really do think this way, and by "some of you," I actually mean "me." I think this way. I am a person who can live on little; just ice cream, a treadmill, Direct TV, and decent Internet service, as previously listed. That's only 4 things.
Now, I know what you are thinking: "How can she be so completely low maintenance?"
But let me caution you: don't envy me. It does not flatter either one of us.
And there are these people who are really good with computers. There are these people who fix your cable if it has issues, or you want to upgrade or downgrade. There are even a handful of them that I might possibly allow to work on mine, should my fantastic Internet access and/or cable prove not to be enough, and I find myself asking myself, "what is wrong here?," then having no answer because if I knew the answer, I would never have had to ask the question of myself in the first place.
I mean, all I know is that I just clicked a few buttons and bam, here's a blog...but that is beside the point...
So I need the people, at least some of them.
Oh, and let's not forget the gal who works at the grocery store that sells my favorite ice cream.
And sometimes, dag nabbit,
I even like the people. I am, after all, an extrovert. That is, if you trust every personality test I have ever taken.
Well, not all of the people, all of the time, and I definitely require my people to smell good. Or at least, not to smell like any smell of skin and dirt and "I just woke up this way"-ness.
and I certainly am not feeling bff closeness with the guy who just ate raw onions for lunch, and they have yet to clear completely out of his pours.
But beyond that, as long as you don't do anything to hurt or irritate me, we can be friends. And if you are naturally witty, but also capable of deep, analytical conversation, and above all, a firstborn in sibling birth order,* and if you don't have a tendency to take your own needs for superiority, validation, and a sense of self worth out on me in passive aggressive or just full frontal aggression ways, then we can definitely be friends.
blink blink
like I said, "low maintenance."
(don't envy it.)

*I have a tendency to be naturally drawn to firstborns like a magnetism in the universe, which cannot be helped, and I usually don't find out they are first borns until later...then I go, "Duh, no wonder I like you!" However, I do have a small smattering of non first born friends, as well. Or at least, I put up with them. Hee hee. ( Joke, people. Please don't take offense.)

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