Sunday, November 22, 2009

I read a book about a horse and bought a new nailpolish within the same week.

(Pre-Script: This post will bless your heart when read as the song," Sweet Pea," #22, plays in the background. Go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

...Aren't horses always named things like "Blessed Assurance," or "Sweet Passage of Time?" I have never been a horse person, per se, but that does not mean that I am not pro horse,* and if I had one, I would name it horse-ily.
The other day, I bought a bottle of nail polish called "Plum Licorice." I was in love. I was ready to name a pet or 5th born hypothetical child Plum Licorice. This is no shock to anyone who knew the inner workings of my brain over 10 years ago when I was finagling my first pregnant belly around, dreaming up lists of names. Even when baby A's name had been decided, I continued dreaming up names. It's fun to dream up names. Throughout the pregnancy, I would throw out the idea of naming my firstborn Plum. I was slightly Plum obsessed, as evidenced by the plates still in my kitchen cabinets, with large red plums in the center. Gwyneth Paltrow has since named her daughter Apple. I may not have been a famous movie star, but even I could tell that naming one's offspring a fruit automatically sounds like you are bestowing upon him or her a blessing of gorgeous health. Come home to Mama, Plum.
I was vehemently vetoed.
I moved it to my Pet Name List instead.
Let me point out here that the Pet Name List is a hypothetical, since I am not warm enough to the idea of anyone living in my house who is not human. This list is also readily available if any of you wants to name something, but has hit a naming block. Just ask me, I'll bestow name after name upon you, golden names I have cherished even without an actual living being on which to bestow them. Come to me, all who are harboring nameless pets and/or children, and I will give you names.
Here is a small smattering of the names you will hear:
"But Michelle,"
I can hear my dear imaginary Reader interrupting me just now,
"Michelle, did you just say Licorice, like in the nail polish color you mentioned earlier?"
Gentle Reader, how very astute of you! Yes, Licorice was always on my list, even before I ever saw the nail polish. I am so glad you are paying attention to my words, not just skimming.
"Of course Michelle, that's what Imaginary Reader's do. We read, pay attention, absorb."
And I love you for it, Gentle Reader.
Moving On...
In short, Plum Licorice now has a place of honor on my Pet-And-Whatever-Else-You-Want-To-Name-List, and though I stole it from a nail polish, I love it as if it were my own. The merging of two beautiful things I already love packaged into one?
Gone, I tell you. I am completely gone.
My name is Michelle, and If I had a horse, I would name it Plum Licorice.


*Don't get me wrong, horses are fantastic! I just don't think my neighbors would like having to call me repeatedly about fence repairs after my horse breaks down theirs, then starts eating off of their fruit trees and their lawns...and there goes the neighborhood again.
**You may have been appalled when you noticed that the pet names lost their wholesome goodness to sugary confections. Live a little, people. Gosh!

No comments: