Saturday, January 2, 2010

Shallow near the shore

(Pre-Script: This post goes best if you drink little bit of "the benefit of the doubt" juice before reading it, and also, if you click on the song, "Mysterious Ways," #23 on the playlist at the bottom of the blog. Before reading any further, go down to the playlist and click on that song. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)
I am like the ocean, very deep. Saying that totally discredits me, but so what, it's still true. I am deep beyond measure out far, but I have my shallow places, too, because some people don't like to go deep, they just like to wade in your shallows, and laugh over the same stories over and over again. Some just like to stand on the shore and observe and relax there. And I like to let them. But then sometimes, a renegade rip tide comes out of nowhere and swipes the sweet non suspecting waders out to my depths, much farther than they ever wanted to go, but then I also place them back on shore, often shaken and unsure of if they want to ever come to this beach again. And then there are the surfers, who like to go out far, but not deep, who ride the top of my vast waves like, "Woah, this is cool; I don't understand it, but I'm here for the ride. Far out!" But then there are my scuba diving buddies, who actually like diving the depths out far, exploring, sharing, not afraid, even when an emotional shark is nearby. These few are crazy, that's what.
I used to be afraid of my own ocean. I have dreamt about for years. These used to be scary dreams, and in them I was always afraid of getting caught up in a wave and being pulled in to the deep dark depths of myself, where I could not see what might be swimming underneath. Over time, these dreams have mellowed out, to the point that the water seems not so dark and brooding, but mostly turquoise and inviting. I can just sit on the sand and watch the waves roll in and out; sometimes they deposit treasures from it's depths on the shore for me to find; seashells and sea glass that has been softened by the tossing it took in all that salt before landing on the beach where I pick it up and put it in my pocket. if I dare a venture into the water, it is warm.


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