Thursday, February 4, 2010

Hog Wash

(Pre-Script: This post will tempt you to utter dirty words under your breath when read as the song, "Say," #4 on the playlist, plays in the background. Go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

I have never heard my father swear, at least not in the traditional sense. In times of frustration, he would resort to wordings, groaning, and uttering too deep for words, which I can only assume were learned from his Des Moines, Iowa upbringing. These consisted of peculiarities such as "Crimenetly," or "Hogwash," or sometimes, wordless, he would just whistle. It took me years to figure out (read: I just figured it out this week, because I never pondered it until this week.) that "Hog Wash" is just a fancy way of taking the name of "mud" in vain.
*WHAT in the name of MUD is going on here?*
So just two days ago, I was thinking about "Hog Wash," about how pigs need a source outside of their own bodies by which to cool down. Then I wondered why God decided to design and build the animal known as "Pig" (Latin Name: Pigus Pinkish Hugeous*) without any sweat glands in the blueprints. Obviously God did not forget,-Hello, this is God we are talking about-He designed this fantastically snort-tastic creature without an internal cooling structure on purpose, some purpose I can only guess at, and forever more, Pigs will be Fat, Pink Creatures That Roll Around In The Mud.** (or, FPCTRAITM) Which just goes to show you that, yet again, I have not figured God out. (Example/Instance #3,899.1)


*All Latin Names herein are merely suggested guesses of **possible** actual Latin Names.

**Not unlike certain human individuals I know, who shall remain nameless

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