Tuesday, February 16, 2010

What You Love

(Pre-Script: This post will make you reconsider your career and long term life goals when read as the song,"Best of Me," #40 on the playlist, plays in the background. Go down to the playlist and click on that song. I'll wait...)(...still waiting...)

I had a great teacher in Junior College who used to say "Do what you love, the money will follow." and I thought, "wow, that sounds fantastic." and I knew he meant a career, not, like, the things I really love to do, like eating ice cream, finding the perfect color to paint my fingernails, or watching DVR'd reruns of Project Runway. Not, like, sit in the hottest bubble bath I can stand, so hot that my skin is steaming while I am drying off afterwards, with a rough towel, not a soft one, since the soft towels don't actually dry you that well, then slathering on some thick, good smelling body cream. The trouble was, I could not think of a single perfect career to love. I knew that I would have babies. I knew I was a good waitress. I knew I liked talking to the people who's table I waited on. It wasn't until the actual dreamed for babies were actual human beings that I discovered a career that had passed my level of consciousness my entire life up to that point. But then it was not the right time to go to school. The second career I would have loved to embark on would have been that of a make up artist. If I had gotten my head together at 18, I could have made this work, but at the age of 28, having just given birth to my 3rd baby, I was not about to suddenly become a professional make up artist. Plus, when I mentioned this career to people, they would often bring up the competitive side of it; say things like "the REAL artists move to LA or NYC." This spoiled it for me; took the wind out of my motivational sails; I don't want someone to hire me because I elbowed the others out; come to me because you think I'm fantastic; I already know I am; like I have time to elbow some 18 year old in the face so you'll hire me, not her. Please.
So what I did was I allowed myself to be talked into starting a do it yourself, from home, make up selling business. I did this forgetting that I don't like having to sell things to my own personal friends and relatives. Awkward. I also don't like the back end of the business; actually entering and keeping track of the data, and having to order and reorder stock. I just wanted to hold the gorgeous bottle of fill in the blank make up or face cream and hand it to the customer while she gives me money. Simple. I also didn't want to have to give up using all other brands of makeup. What a stifling way to live. Part of being an artist is knowing how to properly eclectically accrue. Everyone knows this. At least, everyone who cares to know, knows this.
Needless to say, (but people only say that when they are going to say the needless thing, anyway) the home make up business did not last long.
I discovered the less popular saying, the one that goes, "Do what you love, the money will blow right out your ear. It's okay; it was just imaginary money to begin with, anyway."
and it's even less popular cousin phrase:
"What you love?Ah, fogettaboutit. Take some tedious, life sucking job, and you just might be able to pay your bills on time"
I am doomed.


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