Monday, October 13, 2008

Toenails Optional

(pre-script: To get the most out of this post, read it as the song "Carry On, Wayward Son," by Kansas, plays...go down to my playlist, click on that particular song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

If I ever decide to start a blog devoted to running, which I never will, it will be called
"Toenails Optional."
This title is clever, gross, and bound to generate curiosity. Plus, I figure with a title like that, it will attract not only runners, but also ballerinas who don't know any better, and possibly some gymnasts.
I would write posts about things like what is the best type of music to run to, (answer: whatever you like. Even slow songs have some sort of a beat, and if you are listening to music you enjoy, you are more likely to stick it out.) How to build endurance, (answer: You just...keep going. That's all. Then you do it over and over. The end.) Whether to stretch or not to stretch before or after a run, (um, sure, if you want to, go ahead! What's that, you don't want to? That's cool, too!) if you should get a good night's sleep before a run, (Um, yeah!) What's the best thing to eat before and after a run, and how soon before and how soon after to eat it, (What do you think I am, a doctor, or a personal trainer, or a nutritionist, or something?!?)
After that, I'd pretty much be out of advice, so I'd just have to rotate the posts over and over again. Eventually the peeps would catch on, though, and stop reading, so then I might be compelled to bring in guest blog hosts, like maybe an actual Sports Medicine Expert, or an Olympian, or something. Gosh, I guess that means I'd actually have to meet some of those people. And even if I met them and enjoyed them as people, they might be terrible bloggers, and if my blog is going to have a terrible post, at least I want to be the one to have posted it. But having my own personal space be the source of someone else's bad post? That just might go against some deeply fundamental beliefs that I hold very dear. In other words, read my lips: "Not Gonna Happen. Wouldn't be Prudent at this Juncture."
Oh, I guess I should start the whole thing out by telling you something about myself. like "Hi, I'm Michelle, and I'm a runner. I used to run outdoors, in nature, all the time. I used to be so proud of myself for getting good and muddy. Now I run on treadmills indoors." As soon as I shared that tidbit about myself, you could have come straight off of your own hill run, still freshly muddy, still riding your mountain high, and you could point your sweaty finger accusingly at me to tell me that I am a succumber; that I have succumbed. And I, at this point, will feel compelled to say that yes, you are right; I am a succumber, and I have definitely succumbed... but I will be smiling sheepishly when I say it.
But gentle reader, Mama Bear here is never going to start a just for running blog. I don't think I could handle being confined to one topic like that, although I'm sure that eventually it would morph into a platform for me to turn anything I felt like posting that day into a running analogy...only to turn THAT into a Spiritual analogy... I can do that pretty easily, you know...("I already do a 'finity of those.")


Francesca said...

cute and very funny post. but more importantly, where did you get that super cute blue top?

Michelle said...

Let's be clear, Francesca; the shirt is NEVER "more important" than the post! :-)
It just looks blue here; it's actually faded black. It's from Target, of course. Just a long sleeved black Mossimo T-shirt. xoxo

Verlana said...

I do enjoy the new pics of the family. Very Artsy- Very You! I do miss that gihugic grin of Ethan's, though... He's got such a great smile.

Michelle said...

Thanks, V! Yes, they are much more mysterious this way. :-) I love these shots of them!

sara said...

You are so funny :) First it is toenails optional..what next?!?!

Val said...

I am curious about toenails optional. LOL!!! Would they be painted toenails? Because my toenails are pretty much always painted at all times. Currently they are a bright purple with black tiger stripes! Super cute!!!