New Police Officers Needed!

(Pre-script: This post is best paired with the song:""Superman" by Five For Fighting. Please go down to the playlist and click on that song, , then come back and read this post. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

I just cleaned out my email inbox and was surprised to see a message that was said it was from: "Police Officers Needed!!" and the title of the message was :"Ever thought that YOU could become a police officer?" Um, Sorry, but you got the wrong girl, police force. I have hazy childhood memories of watching CHIPS with my parents as a young child, when I thought that any TV show that was named after an often forbidden but much desired snack must be awesome. Also at that age, my brother's and I would play a sort of version of being police officers, which mainly involved chasing each other, hiding from each other, shooting each other when we found each other, and if you were the one to get shot, then you had to lay frozen and dead for about 30 seconds before you could get up and run again. These days, the only part of law enforcement that I could maybe pull off would be the running. But knowing that the running would be because I would have to chase somebody, possibly some huge burly criminal who is angry that I am chasing him and does not in any way value my life? And then maybe I'd have to point a gun at that person? And have enough of a voice left to say something in an authoritative tone, like "Freeze?" Y'all, I would be terrified, unless I had gone through the training, in which you learn to not be terrified of things like that, and I don't want to lose my healthy fear of things like that, I want to stay soft and sensitive to things like violence and horror and drug deals and dead bodies. I sort of want to keep that part of myself intact. So to whoever sends those emails, I think it's safe to say that I am just going to pass on this one.

-xoxo,

P.S. My friend Francesca might be a decent candidate, though; she is an avid reader of crime and police novels, so she at least would probably have all of the correct lingo down before going into it.