Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Reasons I Typically Don't...

(Pre-script: To get the most out of this post, first go down to the playlist, click on the song: "Superman," by Five for Fighting, then come back and read this post as that song plays. Don't worry, I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

Top reasons why I don't typically "make" Christmas gifts for people:

1.)The one time I tried to bake rum cakes, No matter how many trips I made to BevMo, (with a designated driver, of course) I couldn't keep the bottle of rum away from my lips long enough to have any Rum actually make it into the batter.*

2.)I'm just not as creative and crafty as all y'all, and that makes me feel inferior, and really bad about myself, like I want to bang my head against a wall over and over, and I don't think that's a good idea, so I just don't even go there.

3.)When I try to think of some idea of something to make, I realize that it would cost a fortune in both time and money, in the necessary lessons and supplies that would have been better spent on some awesome already made item I could just drive to the store and exchange for cash.

4.) No one wants some crummy piece of paper with a drawing of a stick figure on it, with the mistakes I tried to erase still clearly visible because the eraser never fully erases the mistakes, unless you erase so hard you erase a hole right through the paper where the mistake was. And then you just have a crummy piece of paper with a drawing of a stick figure and holes.

5.)Any craft idea that might involve Elmers Glue would be too distracting; Oh, I might start out task oriented, but once glue actually started drying on my hands, all I would be able to think about would be the peeling the dried glue off of my hands, and then I would get caught up in putting glue on my hands, letting it dry, peeling it off...over and over...and the whole craft would be lost. BUT now it occurs to me that maybe I should give everyone containers of Elmers Glue...with instructions...for the experience of peeling dried glue off of your hands. It was entertaining in 4th grade; it would still be entertaining today. Think about it.


* Joking peeps; can't you take a joke?! GOSH!! (It wasn't rum, it was tequila.)


Anonymous said...

Becky once made soap as gifts and the heated soap spilled over our table and to this day we have melted in soap drips across our dining table.

smalls said...

I would LOVE glue for Christmas! I totally still love pulling glue/paint/dough/wax/etc... off my fingers. Why is that so satisfying?!?!?

And I almost snorted when I read the part about the stick figure and eraser holes...

Remind me to tell you why it is, sometimes, a COMPLETE WASTE OF TIME AND FRANTIC ENERGY to craft gifts for others.

Geesh. Back to my gift project for Matt. Argh. ;o)