Saturday, April 11, 2009

B.I.L., aka "Bill," aka, "Kevin."

(Pre-script: This post pairs best with the song,"Talk," #18 on the playlist, so go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

I had a talk with Brother in Law today. Let's call him BIL. His real name is "Kevin" but BIL sounds cool; it is an acronym that sounds like the name "Bill." So I will call him "Bill" for this post, adding an extra "L" just because I have never seen the name Bill spelled with only one L, even though we only need one L for the acronym. I am sure that KEVIN has never been called Bill ever before, at least not that I have ever heard of.
BILL recently(last month) gained a new age decade (30) and lost an organ. (Gall Bladder. Apparently it contained a lot of stones.) Bill lives 2 hours from me, roughly, maybe 3 depending on traffic and how you drive. He's in town today because tomorrow is Easter, and we were at his parents house for egg dying and dinner eating and whatnot.

Today he approached me and said:

"I was going to leave a comment on your blog, but I was too disturbed to comment. I was worried about you after I read your last poem. The blood, the head banging, the walls? That was disturbing, are you okay?"

Me,:"Well, you read it, Kevin. I'm just being honest. I think I upset people sometimes with my writing. I think I anger people sometimes. I'm just being honest and real."

Bill:"Well, that was brave of you to reveal so much."

Me:"I didn't actually reveal anything. I think everyone can relate to what I wrote. I don't have to reveal all of my details to be real and universally relatable."

Bill:"Yeah, I guess that's true."

And then since my other B.I.L. Craig had put me in charge of his camcorder, (I have no idea why; he just reached over and handed it to me) I video taped Kevin building his turkey sandwich with ranch dressing; he even described how he toasted the bread first. It was a good recording, with the explanations and whatnot. Won't Craig be surprised at the footage I took on his camcorder.

Later, Bill and I sat and posed as I took about 17 pictures of us with my camera phone. Anyone who sits next to me is subject to being asked to pose Beckham style for a picture which I will snap with my camera phone. The people who pose with me either usually just smile or else sport what has become their signature pose. Some people have a signature pose. Some have a few. Or else they say, "What? What kind of a face are YOU making?"

Another conversation I had recently with Bill went something like this:

Bill:"Hey Michelle, have you read my blog? You haven't commented in a while, and you usually comment."

Me:"I usually read it. Sometimes it looks boring so I just skim it and don't actually read it."

Bill:(He was horrified) "What?"

Me:"I'm sure that a post about car parts is interesting to some people but not to me. It looked long, and you need to know what to leave in and what to leave out."

Bill:"It wasn't about car parts, it was about getting my car back after it was stolen."

Me:"Okay, I'll go read it then. Wait, stay on the line with me while I read it...Oh, this looks long. Okay, I'll read it. Okay, that part was funny, and that part, and that one sentence there is a universally applicable sentence. It's a really good sentence. You should highlight it somehow. But I still think you need to know what to leave in and what to take out. Some of these details are just boring."

Bill:"We disagree about that, apparently."

Me:"Okay, take it or leave it. But you have to be able to take criticism. Do you always read MY blog?"

Bill: "Sometimes yours is too long, so I just skim it."



Brian said...

Hmmmm...sounds like "Bill" is a little passive aggressive with that last comment. Somehow I get the feeling that he won't just skim this latest post.

He's right about your other post being "disturbing" was fantastically's truly a piece of art...hits you like a baseball bat to the midsection. Makes you stop cold and look inside yourself. I mean, if you "get" it.

And this latest one was an interesting look at the levity versus personality clashes in the American family holiday.

Michelle said...

Brian, it wasn't passive aggressive at all, just honest conversation. Kevin and I had a good time. We were laughing.

Brian said...

My mistake...I must have been projecting my inlaw holidays onto yours. Nevermind.

sara said...

I am laughing through my nose!! I have a "real" BIL too and this is exactly how he would talk to me :) And I to him, of course!! Can't believe you missed him getting his car stolen :)

Happy Easter!!

Kevin said...

It sounds like you and that Bill of your's have a great relationship. I'm glad you get to have each other in your family.