Sunday, August 9, 2009

Yo Dawg

(Pre-Script: This post wags tale when paired with the song, "Sweet Pea," #23 on the playlist, so go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

We found out the hard way that our neighbors don't like the sound of a barking dog. Oops. Did you know that there are a million and twelve ways to get your dog to stop barking? 47% of those are scientifically proven to work. We tried several. We even invented some of our own. But I just couldn't help thinking that sometimes, a dog needs to bark, and to force it not to must psychologically damage the dog. I do not want to be responsible for the psychological damage of my dog. I already have children, and anyway, I don't think dog psychology was covered in his puppy package. Oh yeah, they forget to tell you when they show you the cute snuggly pictures and tell you that fill in the bank breed of dog is the most family friendly, sweetest breed of dog around, that the dog will cost you far more than you ever knew you could pay for a stuffed animal with needs of it's own that often coincide and clash with yours, and actual working parts. They also do not tell you that there is a whole world of dog and animal specialities specifically tailored to any real or imaginary thing a pet could possibly ever conceivably need to experience. High Tech X rays after being hit by a car is just the tip of the very large iceberg. Also, when looking at the smooshy so cute you just want to cuddle and love on it forever pictures, you tend to forget that once you bring your adorable looking pet home, it has a tendency to ooze from both ends. Oh, did I say ooze? Yes, yes I did.
Babies also ooze, but it's different. Babies grow and turn into children, and eventually adults. Dogs are always dogs. You have to decide if this is worth it to you. In our case, it was not. The dog went the way of the baby accoutrement's...which, being interpreted, means that we gave it away. Dog who once was ours now lives with a nice woman and one other dog of the same breed. They frolick, often attend the dog park, eat the cushiest of dog foods available in this day and age, and are always up to date on their doggie vitamins and vet appointments. In other words, we did the best thing we could, as dog owners; we gave him a better life. Lest you fear we will ever forget him, though, you need not worry; we could never forget him; some of the furniture still has chew marks, and several of the neighbors still hate us.


No comments: