Sunday, August 2, 2009

You are where you are

(Pre-Script: This post looks greener and bigger when paired with the song,"Sweet Pea," #23 on the playlist, so before proceeding any further, go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

There is a sensation currently sweeping the nation that you may have heard of, you may even have gotten caught up in it. It's called Basements and Brick Buildings. Actually these are two different sensations, and you can indeed get caught up in both if a tornado happens to be occurring. But both of them are foreign to me, because I live in California, where Basements and Brick Buildings are illegal. Actually, so are tornados. Earthquakes are totally legal here though, and this is why Basements and Brick buildings are illegal.
As far as brick goes, if you like the look of it, you can totally go faux. Hooray for faux. Or you can contain your brick love in a real brick fireplace; your probably-unnecessary-but-cute looking fireplace with some stacked up wood in a cute little wood holder that sits next to the fireplace to give visitors a sense that you have just emerged from the forest where you felled a tree and neatly chopped these cute wood pieces, so they think you are much more rugged than you actually are. Never mind that the wood was purchased at the Home Depot and will never actually be used. But it will now look like if you were to light the precious hard won (imaginably) wood that you could cook a hearty stew over the fire you lit there and hovered over, lovingly.
A basement is not as easy to "Faux." It is much harder to "faux" a basement. But in California, garages are not always necessary for their intended purpose of being a home for vehicles, since our weather is practically perfect in every way, so a garage space can be used in the same way that people in the basement parts of the country use their basement space. But the Basement and Brick Building set have garages,too, so it's totally not fair.
Except for maybe if you consider that the land locked basement tornado watching set really do need a garage home for their vehicles due to more extreme weather conditions such as snow and things like 'sleet" that I have only heard rumors of. I know what snow is because we drive there to go skiing for the day, but sleet? I have to look that up. Hold on...
So the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I say the grass is always greener on the other side of the state line. And from where I stand, this is true, possibly because on that side of the country, besides the snow and sleet, there is a major thing called humidity which I think helps them keep their lawns green. I never said that green grass was my ultimate highest life calling. Just that it's greener over there. I have seen pictures.
But even without the greenest of grass, brick buildings, basements, people pay an arm and a leg more to live here than they do for five houses with basements in another state. You pay 2x as much for half the property. This is where the term "Less is more" comes from.
WHY would someone do this, you ask?
(For I can hear you, you may not be asking it out loud, but you are asking it in your mind.)
It's simple.
Because our houses are in California,
and when you step outside your door, guess what,
you are in California.
'nuf said.
Amen, let's eat.
"...but Michelle,"
I hear my imaginary reader now,
"Michelle, you are forgetting that many of those land loving land locked state dwellers are afraid of California"
Afraid, gentle reader?
"Yes, Michelle, afraid."
How so, Gentle Reader?
"Well, Michelle, they are afraid that an earthquake will occur and that the entirety of California will fall off into the Pacific Ocean."
Well, Gentle Reader, then let's just let them have and enjoy their reasonably priced homes and tornado warnings in peace, shall we?
"Michelle, I am so with you on that."
Well, Gentle Reader, that is such a relief, since you are only imaginary, anyway.

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