Daily Damage

(Pre-script: In order for this blog post to flip your world all backwards and upside down, it's going to require your participation. You are going to need to go down to the playlist, click on the song, "Walk Down This Mountain," #26 on the playlist, then come back up and resume reading as it plays. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

OH, that the crisis's of the world would line up in a neat straight line and take a number. Wait until I have at least exfoliated and moisturized, thought at least one complete thought all the way through, and figured out whatever else is on my to do list today. And then give the memo to my children: "Your mother is busy now...trimming her nails, so please do not freak out about the whatchmacallit's and whatnots, please do not irritate and poke each other relentlessly, physically or psychologically, until after she has eaten a meal and taken 2 Aleve's with a full glass of water. Then when she beckons, and you will know she is beckoning by the slight nod of her head as she makes eye contact specifically with the child who's issue she intends to tend to at the current moment, approach her calmly, speak in a soft voice just above a whisper, enunciate clearly, and present the issue in the least amount of words possible that still convey the full weight of the problem. Then whatever solution she chooses, go along with it happily, call her mother dearest with a smile, at least in your mind, skip away and play happily for the rest of the day. You are done when she says you are done. In other words, There is no "But but but but..." required of you after she has appointed the appropriate solution to your issue, no whiny whiny, and no slobber.

... And all the children said AMEN!...

...:BUT no.

The crisis occurs when the crisis occurs.

Blink,

gasp,

swallow hard.

Often multiple crisis's occur in cluster form.

Blink,

gasp,

swallow hard,

They do not line up and take a number.

Blink,

gasp,

swallow hard.

They sneak up and jump out at you from seemingly nowhere.

Blink,

gasp,

swallow hard,

The individual in self perceived crisis is not calm or concise, but is a bubbly blubbery loud mess and the words coming out do not make sense in English, or any other language you may have studied in high school or college. Often you are stuck trying to put together the true nature of the trauma based on a lot of jumping around and wailing sounds.

Blink,

gasp,

swallow hard.

It may not seem like a crisis to you.

Blink,

gasp,

swallow hard,

In fact, 98.6 % of the time, it will not, I repeat, it will NOT seem like a crisis to you.

Blink,

gasp,

swallow hard.

It may require that your shirt gets crumbs or snot smeared all over it.

Blink,

gasp,

Swallow hard.

But even if the crumbs get smeared on only one corner portion of your shirt, it is still just as unpleasant as when they get smeared all over.

Blink,

gasp,

swallow hard.

This is how life works, wherever there are people.

Blink

gasp,

swallow hard.

but you will get through it, I always have, even if just barely...

(and so will your peeps, even though 96.3% of the time they assure you that they will not.)

Blink,

gasp,

swallow hard...

-XOXO,