Friday, July 31, 2009

Fits like a Croc charm

(Pre-Script: This post will ergonomically adhere to your brain like sand on the seashore to a barefoot foot when paired with the song,"Mysterious Ways," #24 on the playlist, so go down to that song, click it on, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...) (...still waiting...)

Why do shoes that are designed to be comfortable have to look so ugly?
Oh, what's this?? It appears that words have slipped my mind like sand through my fingers on the beach, but I am not comforted by such a slippage. I love the feeling of the sand slipping out between my fingers, walking barefoot in the sand, feeling it sink between my toes like form fitting ergonomically corrective shoes. Something like what Crocs are intended to be, but not so dorky looking on a grown up. And you can't affix a charm to the sand as you can to a Croc. It would just get lost and eventually buried, where a medal detector wielding beach comber will wave his detector over the very spot, hear his detector start to beep beep beep, which will encourage him to dig dig dig, and find the charm. Maybe he will have a young child at home who will appreciate the charm for his or her own pair of Crocs, or maybe the metal detecting general will decide to put the Croc charm in his own pair of Crocs, which he wears only around the house for the sake of their incredible comfort since the floor of his own house is not made of sand. He will place the charm in his very ugly comfortable shoes, now both tacky AND ugly, but he will wear it as a sort of inside joke between himself and his metal detector, thereby unleashing his inner 9 year old girl. Do not be alarmed; I am not insulting the dear man; every person has an inner 9 year old girl. One need only spend an afternoon with a 9 year old girl to realize that we all contain such a person inside of ourselves at all times, and she is always waiting for any excuse to be unleashed. Trust me.
Blink, Wink.
So the real question is WHO unleashed the inner 9 year old girl of the designated Croc shoe designers, who unleashed the inner 9 year old girl of the people approving of the shoe design before it went out to the stores? Everyone involved in the Croc shoe design must have been blinded by their inner 9 year old girls, and this explains the many hideous colors they come in.


No comments: