Monday, March 22, 2010

Quick Lube

(Pre-Script: This post will bring you great relief when read as the song, "Going the Distance," #50 on the playlist, plays in the background. Go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...)(...still waiting...)

I went to the Quick Lube to get an oil change today, because their sign said "10 minute oil change," and that's what I was hoping for. But when I pulled up, the mechanic told me that there were 2 other cars that had just pulled up before me, so it would probably be 20-30 minutes until mine was complete. I said, "Fine," and "do you have a bathroom," and he said "inside-you can go through that door or go around the front." and he pointed somewhere, but I could not tell which way he was pointing. So I left my keys in the ignition, grabbed my purse and got out of the car, and walked around to the front and into the waiting room through the front door. The bathroom door was just inside the front door of the tiny lobby, to the left, only it had 2 signs taped to it, both with the words, "Customer bathroom out of service" written on them. What the heck. How's a person waiting for a 10 minute oil change that is probably going to take 20-30 minutes, and who drinks a lot of Enviga Green Tea, supposed to endure the wait with no bathroom availability? So I walked across the parking lot to the nearby gas station and Quickstop. I noticed the man who works there looking at me, then pretending not to have been looking at me when he saw me seeing him. I said "Do you have a bathroom?" He said, "No, no public bathroom, sorry." I shook my head, sighed, "UNbelievable" under my breath as I walked out the door, which I was careful not to let hit me on the way out, but at that point I think a good door whacking would have been apropos, don't you?
I walked back to the 10 minute Quick Lube, thinking, "All of these dudes should be so fortunate as to allow me to use their various bathrooms. Gosh." I walked right to where the mechanics were working, and asked, "Is there a bathroom?" I was instantly pointed to the mechanic's personal bathroom, and told that the light was just outside the door. I smiled, thanked them, because I would have never found the light on my own once I was in there alone with the door closed, suddenly all encompassed in darkness. I flipped the light switch on and closed myself into that den of filth. Oil splatters were everywhere around the sink. I tried not to look anywhere else, or to touch anything, but for all I knew, there were vipers in there, as well. I squatted over the toilet, ("Girlfriend! OH no you di-n't" oh yes, I did; I went there. I said that. Snap.) and when I was done, I considered washing my hands, but did not trust the germ content of the faucet enough to touch it. Oh, the irony; do you turn on the sink to wash your hands from various possible bacteria and germs that may have collected there, even when said faucet is possibly the worst germ offender you will have touched all day? Especially when you know you will have to touch it again to turn it off, AFTER you have already removed the previous germs from your hands? Then I remembered that I hadn't actually touched anything in that bathroom, so I just walked out. I thanked the mechanics again. Really, I think they should have thanked me for that moment of girlness in their all too boyish den of filth, oils splatters, and quite possibly, live vipers.
When a girl's gotta go, a girl's gotta go, even one with a tendency to drink a lot of Enviga Green Tea, and she should not have to go to such lengths to ensure that she can. Quick Lube Oil stops should always have a functioning customer bathroom, especially when the advertised 10 minute oil change is actually going to be 20-30 minutes.


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