Share the Love

(Pre-Script: This post to be shared with the song, " How To Save A Life," #31 on the playlist. Go down to the playlist, click on that song, then come back and resume reading. I'll wait...)(...still waiting...)

Sharing is completely overrated and is getting out of hand.

There, I said it.

I have always known this, but it was never politically correct to say it. It still is not politically correct to say, I just stopped caring if it was on not. I have decided to step out on a very shaky branch and proclaim the truth of the matter because of an issue that has come to my attention which I would like to publicly denounce. I know what you are thinking, "Nothing like living on the edge!" and you are right, there is nothing like it, which is why I prefer to live IN THE MIDDLE. Even as a child, when my brother's wanted to sit near the windows in our station wagon on the way home from Sunday School, I would always happily concede, the only sibling who actually preferred the middle seat. I felt cozy there. But can someone please explain to me why big huge brothers have to spread their gangly legs all the way out as far as possible in that relatively short car ride from church to home, when 4 of us had to squeeze back there? Why couldn't they sit cross legged like their angelic sister, instead of insisting on squashing me every time we had to drive anywhere?

"But Michelle,"

My dear Imaginary Reader is asking,

"Michelle, um, you seem to have gotten off of the topic, you were about to go off on a limb and live on the edge and denounce some horrible thing you see happening in society, which may or may not have to do with sharing, but then you got off on that rant about the backseat when you were a child, and your brother's long legs."

Oh. You noticed.

Blink.

That was my stall tactic. Ha ha, so as you can see, I am still trying to squeeze my way back to the middle. Somebody get me a glass of water with which to clear my throat.

Thank you. Ahem.

here it is:

Whoever thought up the concept of "Share the Road" was obviously on crack or more likely on some sort of natural high, and it was probably someone from Santa Cruz or Berkeley, CA, those Nature Lovers who are all about "Going Green." (on, NLWAAAGG) Now, I am all about preserving the natural world, in realistic , "But I still exist in 2010" ways. Bikes and cars sharing the road is not one of them. Bikes should not be ridden on the road, unless they remain in the bike lane. But the minute I think that, some fancy padded butt shorts wearing bike riding maverick maneuvers his way into the very lane where I am driving my huge metal bullet with things like an engine that can go from 0-120 in, I'm not sure how long, I have never actually driven that fast, but it gets me to 35mph in no time at all. Plus, if we crash, it will be worse news for one of us than the other (hint-the one it will be worse for is most probably *not*me.) Biker dude is a single rider, completely able to focus on his natural endorphin high as he pedal powers up to 15 mph, and the rush of the wind in his ears, and perfecting his hand signals. I, in my vehicle, most likely have a few children in the backseat, squawking about who wants to sit in which seat.

Please understand, I am not dissing your bike and matching helmet. I just don't see how we can share the same lane on the road; it's not right to expect me to drive at human leg force power, when this car was built to drive at several horse powers of speed.

My plea: Please, Bike Master 2000, keep your bike in the bike lane. Yes, you are skilled and excellent, and flush with good health and fresh air. You just make me nervous, that's all. You make me very, very nervous.

-XOXO,