Monday, March 9, 2009

Addictions and such

(Pre-script: To get the most of this post, please read it as the song,"Mighty to Save" plays, since I really believe in the words to this song, and I particularly like this version of the song...it's the last song on my playlist. Click on it, then come back. I'll just be here...waiting...)(...still waiting...)

So I shaved my legs twice today, because at least I can control that. Hair does not belong on a woman's leg, never never ever. "Michelle, it sounds like you have subscribed to a societal standard." baby, if I subscribed to it, and subscribing to it is wrong, then I don't want to be right. Hold on, I'm on the other line, calling to renew my subscription to this belief for as many seasons as I continue to exist on this Earth.
Besides, it was one of those days when by 8 am, I was already considering the ramifications of trading in my ice cream-oholicness for alcohol-oholicness...., like "what if instead of skipping dinner and plunging into the ice cream at night, what if I just plunge into the alcohol instead? Would I consume less calories that way?" A girl always wonders. Then it occurred to me that my alcohol addiction would leave me feeling sluggish in the mornings, and THAT would seriously interfere with my running addiction. Whoever said that everything in life is a trade off was right; I wonder if that person was thinking of these types of decisions.
I guess we all cope how we can...then go,
"Wow, what a mess. who's that person in the mirror? Can anyone make sense of this? Jesus? Look at me, I screwed the thing ALL up again. Got some crumbs on my shirt and everything. Got some blood and tears ground in, too. Possibly some broken glass, from dropping something. I'm so, so good at dropping something. Yes, I know, I was supposed to come to You FIRST and follow instructions, and somedays I'm so, so good at that, really, I think, or at least sort of okay at that, or at least I pretend on those days, but other days it hits me that...WOW, I prayed, and I STILL feel horrible. BUT the ice cream...OH, the ice cream. Oh my, yes, the ice cream. Come here, baby...and other days, I don't know, chock it up to ADD?? Okay, in my case, ADHD? Don't forget the all important "H..."? A mild case?? Okay OKAY already, a MAJOR case, since it is ME we are discussing here??"
So today, maybe I wasn't the most fantastically healthy person in town. I wasn't the most mature and stable. I was maybe more like what you would call a basket case. I am still as ever on the verge of a breakdown. But my legs? Well, they were twice shaved, and I feel happy that at least that part went smoothly.


-XOXO,

2 comments:

Kevin said...

Your running addiction sounds healthy. Ice Cream is probably better than alchohol. And most women I talk to shave much less in the winter.

vic-a-la said...

it is still all about daisy plus with moisture strip? or do you have a new fav?