"What's so amazing about Derek?" Item #392

If Derek ever had to choose between having a salad or a dessert with his meal, I'm just about 99% certain he would go with the salad.

Blink

Blink

Y'all, having said that, I am just at a loss right now, and needing a moment of silence to process.

Blink

The story would end there, it really would.

The only problem is that if I were presented with the same question, I'm just about 99% certain* I would have the opposite response...

("Don't judge me...don't you judge me...")

It's just that I believe in eating vegetables IN MODERATION.)

and when Derek saw my dessert, he would then decide that he DID want dessert after all; he in fact would decide that SHARING MY DESSERT would be the best course of action.

Y'all, sharing my dessert is a big no- no.

I mean, excuse me, when he is savoring his broccoli and brussels sprouts, he doesn't hear me carrying on about how I want to share them please please pretty please, does he?

The answer is a big fat No.

I let him enjoy every bite of his delectable vegetables all by himself.

And enjoy them he does! And I am so happy for him!

But by the time Derek see's my dessert, he seems to forget all about my selflessness, and doesn't at all feel the need to reciprocate.

But.

If you ask him, he will tell you :

"Michelle has really gotten better about sharing dessert with me."

No, darling husband, I haven't.

I've just learned a few tricks.

First of all, I"ve learned that I should encourage him to fill up on salad, because when he does, he wants less of my dessert.

(Sometimes he will even say "No thanks, I'm full from dinner." To which I also have no words.)

Another trick is that I now go for the good part first, which is usually the frosting. If I eat the frosting first, the dry cake that is left has lost it's desirability to me, and I can then very generously say

"Here, Derek, do you want to finish this?"

*Actually, it's 100%.